I am sad today. This year I feel the weight of Jesus being falsely accused and murdered. Many brothers and sisters in the Lord are suffering the same fate this week. Numbered out. Assaulted. Whipped. Murdered. Wycliff Bible translators slaughtered. Christian converts from Islam, hacked. Preachers of God’s Word, jailed.
When Jason and I sold everything we could to move to go to seminary someone told me, “I feel sorry for you.” Why? They said because I was giving up my dreams to follow my husband. False. I was giving up comfort to follow Jesus. I don’t regret one step. Seminary has been very difficult and at the same time, glorious. I have been the most depressed and the most liberated, sometimes at the same time.
I want to follow Jesus and that means risking falling on our face—in America. In other places that means risking our last breath. This next season—new church, new home, new friends, and unknown place after a year—has me feeling unsure, afraid, and insecure… and at the same time sure, brave, and solid. That is the reality of following Christ—if we are really following. We go through the dark nights of Friday in our souls with the promise of the resurrection. We despair with hope.
I don’t know why we call it “Good Friday.” I see the good on Sunday, but Friday and Saturday are sad. Wretched. Grotesque. They took a man who did nothing wrong and slashed, spat, ridiculed, accused, and nailed him to a cross. They let a known murderer off the hook and crucified a known healer.
They let an known murderer off the hook and crucified a known healer.
This Good Friday I am choosing sadness. Because Sunday is only as glorious if we feel the loss of Friday and the silence of Saturday.
What is Good about Good Friday? As my professor Dr. Basselin would say, “allowing us to sit in the pain is good.”
Will you take time today to really imagine the loss? The pain? The sorrow? Will you risk comfort for following the way of Jesus? The way of Jesus… is the cross.
Happy Good Sad Friday.
(Photo from: zbrushcentral.com via google images)