Trials of Faith in Loss

I woke up this morning with an achy soul, blanketed by anger and frustration. Crying. Feeling so “unChristian”. Where is my faith? Shouldn’t I have some slither of joy? I pray, but my prayers lack depth. I read the Word, but the truths seems to slip off the page before it lands in my soul.

I laid out some of my angst in the few words I could gather so the Lord had a space to enter in.

I opened scripture to Psalm 42 and the words finally found a place within.

3 My tears have been my food day and night,

While they say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

 

4 These things I remember and I pour out

my soul within me.

For I use to go out with the throng

and lead them in the procession to the house of God,

With the voice of joy and thanksgiving,

a multitude keeping festival.

 

5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?

And why have you become disturbed within me?

HOPE IN GOD for I shall again praise Him

For the help of His presence.

 

 

11 Why are you in despair, O my soul?

And why have you become disturbed within me?

HOPE IN GOD for I shall yet praise Him

The help of my countenance and my God.

 

Even David had times where tears replaced praise. But then directing his heart to HOPE in God became his help.

Even he had moments of wondering how he use to lead people to worship the Lord, but then found himself needing to answer, “Where is God in this?” I feel like I use to be so strong in passion for worship, but have slipped into obedient worship that lacks passion.

Romans 5 teaches us that trials produce perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, HOPE. Hope does not put is to shame because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

So, today, I am directing my heart—in all the sorrow of losing my brother-in-law and the angst of our lives being in flux and unstable unknown of our future—to HOPE in God. Trusting that even in the tears the praises may come.

I am learning to lean back and float in trust. God is good. God is here. Even when my soul wakes in anger and frustration. He invites me, “Come. Come all who are thirsty, come.” God, please help me come.

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  • Rebecca Kavin

    Rest in peace with the Lord, dear Andy, until we meet again.

  • Oh, how we find Him in the despair! I love, love, love that He never, ever, ever leaves us. He knows how to soothe our souls.

  • Val Brown

    The Lord’s comfort is so very real, so palpable, when we come to be with Him in our great sorrow. His overwhelming love covers over the questions, the fears, the hurts. And when they come again, the answer, as you have said, is to come again to be with Daddy. May His ever-present Spirit continue to comfort your hearts.

  • Sharon Scott

    Our God is looking for our broken moments. HIS Grace is never sweeter than in our perfect imperfections. Thank goodness for that! Death is painful for those left behind. Andy’s death is particularly so. He was very much loved by many!! He will be so very missed ?

  • Joni

    A beautiful part of you directing your heart is that it may have prompted you to write this, which in turn, has helped me (and I’m guessing others) to do the same.
    Thank you!!

    • Thanks for your comment and encouragement, Jodi. Miss you, friend!