Slaying the Anger Dragon in Mothering

Devotion from James Chapter 4

I never considered myself an angry person, but it seems like birthing children also birthed a dragon within me that occasionally wakes from slumber—ready to blow fireballs of roaring yells, burning sentences, and attitude rampages.

slaying the anger dragon

(picture courtesy of

Why do we become angry?

God’s Word teaches us in James 4:1-2.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

Slaying the Anger Dragon

 (photo courtesy of

So, the question: “What am I wanting that I am not getting?”

For me, it is usually things like: obedience from my kids, time alone to refresh, a clean house, the laundry fairy to come and wave her wand, my children to stop fighting over a toy, and a zillion other pet peeves.

The reality? Kids are kids. They will disobey (those little sinners, lol). They will dirty their clothes, leave trails of kid play on the floor, and battle over toys.

Our job as mamas is to love them in the process of training them. Whew! It’s a hard job, huh?

This motherhood gig is a battle.

A battle over our own hearts and a battle to love well so our kids see Jesus in us. But when the moments happen—and they will—where the anger dragon unleashes from his den, let’s take out the Sword of God’s Word and heroically slay him.

How to Slay the Anger Dragon: From James 4

  1. Determine why you are angry. What is it that you want but don’t have?
  2. Ask God for an idea to obtain what you desire in a way that pleases Him or to change your heart’s desire.
  3. If the anger continues, put yourself in time-out (1 Corinthians 10:13).
  4. Practice kindness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

When I mess up: 

  1. I stop and separate myself to calm down (1 Corinthians 10:13).
  2. Confess my sin to the Lord and ask forgiveness and help (I John 1:9).
  3. Confess my sin to my kid(s) and ask for forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).
  4. Rebuild my relationship with my kid(s) through quality, loving time.

Prevent the dragon from waking

Better to not blow fire balls than have to try to clean up the ashes.  So let’s examine our hearts when we feel the dragon starting to wake from slumber. God is ready to help us be slow to anger (James 1:19).

PRAY: Lord, You know me better than I know myself. I can get so angry with my kids. Please give me wisdom in those moments to know why I’m angry. Please help give me ideas to instruct and love well without the control of anger. I need Your help. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.

Question:What helps you in self-control when you are angry? To leave a comment, just click here.

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(NOTE: The anger I talk about in this post is occasional yelling or harsh words. If you struggle with wanting to hit your kids, are consistently angry and hurtful—or other kind of physical or emotional abuse—please seek professional help as soon as possible. There is no shame in admitting when we need help).
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