Is That My Kid? What to Do When You Feel Like the Worst Mom in the World

A REAL MOM GUEST POST by Lucille Williams

This week’s post is from a sweet friend, Lucille Williams (I call her Lu). She is a mom to three grown children, married to a pastor, and has given me lots of wise advice and deep belly laughs over the years. Her new-release, “From Me to We” is a candid, funny, and helpful book on marriage.


Lord, please give me the strength and wisdom to get through today. Please Lord, I need energy—I’m not asking for extra—just enough to do everything I need to today.

Many days started like that when my kids were little, but on this particular day all was well—superb even. My day was going so well that I decided to head to my kids’ elementary school, and watch them play on the playground.

Undercover, of course.

I parked at the far end of the school and watched from the street. I wanted to see how my children interacted when they didn’t know Mom was looking. I smiled as I played Mom Detective, a modern day Sherlock Holmes.

What to do when you feel like the worst mom in the world

 

I noticed a little boy chasing and throwing down all the little girls. They dropped like Hulk Hogan throwing down Rawdy Roddy Piper.

My mouth open and with a huge gasp—who is that child’s mother? Unbelievable.

I zeroed in with a squint—Oh no! That’s MY son! I’m THAT mother.

Now trembling and resisting running on the playground—which would have been breaking the rules—I sat in my car completely dumbfounded.

The Worst Mother In The World

On my way home I tuned into “You’re the Worst Mother in the World” song on my mental radio station. I was defeated, furious, sad, embarrassed—and felt like I couldn’t be any worse of a failure as a mom.

When I get him home I’m going to let him have it!

“Wait, wait, wait. Stop. Turn off the mental radio. Calm down and pray.”

The Holy Spirit whispered, “Pray.'” God spoke to me, so I continued to listen.

“This is your sweet boy. He’s still the same little boy who compliments girls on their dresses and gives away his jackets. Talk to him. Just talk to him.”

Talk?! I’m going to…

“Just talk.”

I feel like the worst mother in the world.

“I know. But parenting isn’t about you. It’s about your son.”

God’s voice wasn’t audible. I’m a little crazy, but not that crazy. Nonetheless, God did speak to me that day, and that’s what I heard.

Yes, That’s My Kid

I waited until the end of the school day—although I was tempted to pull him out early. Once Tim was home, I sat him down.

“Sweetheart, Mom watched you on the playground today, and I saw you throwing down all the girls. Why? Why would you do that?”

“It’s a fun game, Mom. We were playing a game. Like I play with Monica.”

And that’s when the lights went on. Lots of wrestling occurred in our home. Monica, my daughter, was older and bigger than Tim and she really roughhoused with him. So we needed to teach Tim that not all girls were as tough as big sister.

The mental radio began playing You’re the Worst Mother in the World again.

 Stop it. Focus. This isn’t about you.

I talked with Tim about appropriate play and how not all girls are like his sister. And that was it. It never happened again—I know, because I checked. Sherlock Holmes, remember?

boy on a swing

Crying Out to God

Sometimes we all play the negative mental radio. We can get so caught up in being the perfect Mom that we put undo stress and pressure on ourselves.

In the days of chaos with little ones,  we need to quiet the noise and listen for God.

Sometimes we moms just need to drop to our knees and bury our head in a seat cushion and cry out to God. He is there.—waiting— and will give you guidance and wisdom.

Today, Tim is a pastor and a husband and a dad. And I’ve never seen him act like Hulk Hogan, not even once.

Be encouraged Mom, you’re doing the hardest and most important job on earth.

Focus on the treasure at the end of your mom journey, not the bumps along the way. And enjoy the moments.

Your calling was appointed and ordained by God.

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

-Proverbs 31:28-30 (emphasis mine)

March on, faithful one, march on! Your rewards await.

PRAY

God, thank you for my child(ren). Please help me not be hard on myself. I know I am not perfect, but you are the perfect father. Please lead me and guide me to know how to love well as a mom. I need you. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.

RESPOND

How about you? Have any tips on what helps you be kind to yourself as a mom? Please share. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

MORE FROM LU

Enjoyed this post and want to hear more from Lu? Buy her marriage book or read more of her stuff on her blog.

 

 

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