Trials of Faith in Loss

I woke up this morning with an achy soul, blanketed by anger and frustration. Crying. Feeling so “unChristian”. Where is my faith? Shouldn’t I have some slither of joy? I pray, but my prayers lack depth. I read the Word, but the truths seems to slip off the page before it lands in my soul.

I laid out some of my angst in the few words I could gather so the Lord had a space to enter in.

I opened scripture to Psalm 42 and the words finally found a place within.

3 My tears have been my food day and night,

While they say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

 

4 These things I remember and I pour out

my soul within me.

For I use to go out with the throng

and lead them in the procession to the house of God,

With the voice of joy and thanksgiving,

a multitude keeping festival.

 

5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?

And why have you become disturbed within me?

HOPE IN GOD for I shall again praise Him

For the help of His presence.

 

 

11 Why are you in despair, O my soul?

And why have you become disturbed within me?

HOPE IN GOD for I shall yet praise Him

The help of my countenance and my God.

 

Even David had times where tears replaced praise. But then directing his heart to HOPE in God became his help.

Even he had moments of wondering how he use to lead people to worship the Lord, but then found himself needing to answer, “Where is God in this?” I feel like I use to be so strong in passion for worship, but have slipped into obedient worship that lacks passion.

Romans 5 teaches us that trials produce perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, HOPE. Hope does not put is to shame because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

So, today, I am directing my heart—in all the sorrow of losing my brother-in-law and the angst of our lives being in flux and unstable unknown of our future—to HOPE in God. Trusting that even in the tears the praises may come.

I am learning to lean back and float in trust. God is good. God is here. Even when my soul wakes in anger and frustration. He invites me, “Come. Come all who are thirsty, come.” God, please help me come.

And The Award Goes To…

I sat towards the middle of the Scofield Memorial Church sanctuary. I listened as names were called for awards of achievement at the 2016 Dallas Theological Seminary graduation chapel. “Jason deserves an award,” I thought. But not one recognized by institutions, one recognized by me.

You see, Jason sacrificed every day to meet the needs of his family and those who crossed his path. He set aside study time to roll on the floor, tickling his boys, or reading books to his toddler over and over. He labored late into the night, sometimes all through the night to write papers, so the people he cared for or needed him didn’t lack. Including me. He always makes time for me when I need him.

This last semester of seminary has been rough on our family for various reasons and Jason has stepped up to be the man we need him to be—for us. For his family.

To Jason, family is always his first ministry. And because of this, I can confidently follow where God leads us without fear of abandonment to the demands pastoring can have on family life.

So the award for the “Best Seminary Husband and Father of the Graduating Class of 2016 at Dallas Theological Seminary” goes to Jason Scott.

A man of integrity, sacrifice, commitment, prayerfulness, passion for God’s Word and all people—believers and non-believers. I am honored to celebrate him today.

And he still excelled in his grades. Graduating with a 3.81 (yes, I am proud). Two points missed because he put others before himself. Congrats on a job well done, hon!